We are getting close to the end of the year. I had high standards for my blog, but after a couple of big months I just couldn’t find the time and motivation to keep on writing. I was struggling with a huge writers block, I still am to be honest. I love to write about video games, But honestly, I only play Rocket League and barely finish any games! Even though my steam library has over 500 games at this moment.
So what happened in the year 2018? Well the year started quite nice, I was writing for you guys, I started streaming full time and also had my own house and a full time job. I could play video games for at least 30 hours a week and I loved it! As some of you might know about me is that I struggled with a massive burnout and depression. So the chance for it to come back is a little bit higher ever since. So I actually am a workaholic. I love working and being busy for almost the complete day. This all together with 5 hours of sleep a night is a critical combination. So after a couple of months I started to feel the symptoms again.
Aah well let’s fast forward a bit..
2018 was the year of losing every single thing I actually had left in my life. My grandmother died, I had to let go of my 2 cats (who were very sick even though they never reached the age of 1.5 year), I lost my aunt. So that actually sucks a lot. But by writing this down I actually want to honor all of them. Now we are almost at the end of the year. I have a bird but the chance for him to actually survive it to 2019 are very minimum. I only have one person left in my life and that’s my brother, even though I never tell him how much he means to me and how much I care about him, I hope he actually knows that.
But even after all this shit am I happy?
Well yes and no, I am very happy with everything I accomplished in my life. I beated depression, I have my own house, I have a full time job, I have reached 2500+ followers on my twitch channel and well I just try to see the positive side as much as possible.
No, well The loneliness is actually killing me. Being alone 24/7 and never seeing any people (except at work) is very shit. And many people tell me: ”well go out and meet people”. But to be fair it is way more difficult then people say haha.
Now off to the positive stuff! I want to get back into writing again, but probably more diverse. I want to write about games, short stories and lifestyle things as well. I also want to play a bigger diversity of games on stream as well.
I’ve been watching a lot of Netflix as well. And started watching my first anime. (well if you don’t count pokemon, dragon ball z and yu-gi-oh as animes) I would love to write about the series and movies I watch as well but I feel like I would spoil things about it and I actually hate that haha!
So for later this week I will post a new blog about some games I’ve been playing recently!
Hope you have a wonderful day,